Why six is afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
Teacher: What are you reading?
Pupil: I dunno!
Teacher: But you are reading aloud!
Pupil: Yeah, but I'm not listening!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the Eighth!
Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word "lettuce".
Pupils: Let us out of school early!