Why is Russia a very fast-moving country?
Because the people are always Russian!
What is the most slippery country in the world?
What do Scotsmen eat?
Tart ‘n’ pie!
What might you eat in Paris?
The trifle tower!
What happenes when you throw a green stone in the Red Sea?
It gets wet!
Did you hear about the exhausted kangaroo?
She was out of bounds!
What kind of biscuit would you find at the South Pole?
What’s the difference between an American student and a UK student?
About 3 000 miles!
No animal is half so vile
As Crocky-Wock the crocodile.
On Saturdays he likes to crunch
Six juicy children for his lunch,
And he especially enjoys
Just three of each, three girls, three boys.
He smears the boys (to make them hot)
With mustard from the mustard pot.
But mustard doesn’t go with girls,
It tastes all wrong with plaits and curls.
With them, what goes extremely well
Is butterscotch and caramel.
It’s such a super marvellous treat
When boys are hot and girls are sweet.
At least that’s Crocky’s point of view.
He ought to know. He’s had a few.
That’s all for now. It’s time for bed
Lie down and rest your sleepy head . . .
Ssh! Listen! What is that I hear
Gallumphing softly up the stair?
Go lock the door and fetch my gun!
Go on, child, hurry! Quickly, run!
No, stop! Stand back! He’s coming in!
Oh, look, that greasy greenish skin!
The shining teeth, the greedy smile!
It’s CROCKY-WOCK, THE CROCODILE!
Why don’t crocodiles like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do crocodiles call children?
What would a crocodile be called if it was a detective?
What do you call a thieving aligator?
What has four legs, a trunk and sunglasses?
An elephant on holidays!
What is worse than a crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner!
What is worse than two crocodile coming to dinner?
Three crocodiles coming to dinner!
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Customer: Is there spaghetti in the menu today?
Waiter: No, I cleaned it off!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed!
What do polar bears have for dinner?
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
Hurry and ketchup!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What vegetable should never be served on a boat?
What do aliens eat off in space?
How do eggs leave in an emergency?
Through the fire eggs-it!
Why six is afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
Teacher: What are you reading?
Pupil: I dunno!
Teacher: But you are reading aloud!
Pupil: Yeah, but I’m not listening!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the Eighth!
Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word «lettuce».
Pupils: Let us out of school early!
GAMES TO PREPARE FOR STARTERS TEST:
* большинство игр работает если у пользователя установлен flash player
SPELLING/Дополнительные материалы на повторение правописания:
VOCABULARY REVISION/Дополнительные материалы на повторение лексики: